Showing posts with label confidence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label confidence. Show all posts

Sunday, August 19, 2012

How to Conquer Intimidating Goals



"Oh that would be too hard for me -- I could never learn to do that."

We've all heard these words... you may even have said them yourself. Tackling new skills can feel intimidating. But we only feel intimidated because we overestimate the task and underestimate our own abilities. We aren't confident enough in our natural abilities. Take learning to drive for example.

Today, millions of very mentally un-gifted people got into automobiles and drove them. And most of them had no accident today. So how hard can it be?




What have you been holding yourself back from doing? No, you don't have to list EVERYTHING you're putting off. Just take the top one.

#1


Whatever it is, write it down on a piece of paper.

#2


Now think of somebody who isn't particulary smart, but who is now doing the very thing you want to do.

Been putting off learning to drive? Look at all the idiots on the road who somehow manage to get from here to there without wrecking the countryside.

What about marriage? True, most people botch it completely, but many millions actually do get it right and live in happiness.

Or maybe you're putting off starting your own business. Same thing -- you've met people barely clever enough to get in out of the rain, but they have businesses. And they haven't gone bankrupt -- at least not yet.

Chances are, the one thing you're lacking is not intelligence, nor ability, nor talent. Training is no real stumbling block, either, since people regularly go get the same training you're wanting.

No, you're probably only lacking permission. You're waiting around for somebody to validate you, then pick you up and prove to you that you can do it.

It ain't gonna happen that way. The good news is, it doesn't HAVE to happen that way.

All it takes is just deciding you'll do it. Then just begin.

Several years ago someone told me a great two-step formula for success in any field.

Step one is start; step two is don't stop.

So we come to...

#3



Make a beginning, no matter how awkward, then just keep moving forward in the direction you want to go.

Honestly, it's just about that simple.

While great intelligence can make things simpler, it can also make things much more difficult if you never learn to use it FOR yourself instead of against.

Please notice that beginnings are almost always awkward. That's okay. Give yourself permission to be a beginner when you begin. And if you feel a compulsion to be perfect, then just be a perfect beginner.

But do keep moving... forward.


Overcome Shyness And Gain Confidence




Winning the battle with shyness takes some work, but is definitely well worth the effort as the result is increasing confidence and self esteem. Wake up feeling good about yourself, able to face the world with confidence and security and the knowing that no feeling of shyness can come in your way of achieving your desires.



1. Every morning, as soon as you get up, get in front of a mirror and say out loud "I feel terrific! I feel terrific! I feel terrific!" Repeat this affirmation with enthusiasm at least ten times everyday until it's ingrained into your subconscious mind. If feel a little self conscious to begin with lock yourself in the bathroom. The results will amaze you.

2. Feel good about yourself. Look your best. Dress up more often. This gives you an extra feeling of confidence and self esteem. On its own just knowing that you look good will boost your confidence and reinforce with others that there are things about you that are worth getting to know.

3. Take a risk at least once a day. It's very invigorating and conquering fears by taking risks helps you grow in confidence and self esteem. Start with small risks and fears and as you overcome them move onto bigger things. There's nothing you cannot do. Be confident in knowing that change can only help you grow, and boost your self confidence.

4. When you are engaged in a one to one conversation, or with a larger group of people, let them know that you're shy. This prevents them from misreading you and they are far more likely to invite you into the conversation rather than leave you just listening and wishing you could contribute.

Many people, me included, find following a conversation in a noisy room difficult. If you are having difficulty say so and move so that you can hear. People respect honesty, and vulnerability and you will attract more honest people into your life as a result.

5. Rejection is a fact of life that everyone experiences. It is rarely you that is being rejected. If you are rejected, for example if you ask someone for a date, remember that everyone has different likes and dislikes. You may be attracted to one type of person and not others. The same applies to other people and you are probably just not their type. That does not devalue you in any way. Accept this and know that you will get over it. Never take it personally and keep in mind that if people reject you it is because of their own likes and dislikes and not because of who you are. You are equally entitled to reject others because of your likes and dislikes.

6. Engage in an activities that make you feel excited and good about yourself or start a hobby that gives you a feeling of relaxation. This could be anything from gardening to Tai Chi to Karate. Take some lessons, learn or master a musical instrument or take singing lessons. Do something that excites you and take a risk. Exploring things that make you feel excited is a great antidote for shyness.