How to Conquer Intimidating Goals

"Oh that would be too hard for me -- I could never learn to do that."

We've all heard these words... you may even have said them yourself. Tackling new skills can feel intimidating. But we only feel intimidated because we overestimate the task and underestimate our own abilities. We aren't confident enough in our natural abilities. Take learning to drive for example.

Today, millions of very mentally un-gifted people got into automobiles and drove them. And most of them had no accident today. So how hard can it be?




What have you been holding yourself back from doing? No, you don't have to list EVERYTHING you're putting off. Just take the top one.

#1

Whatever it is, write it down on a piece of paper.

#2

Now think of somebody who isn't particulary smart, but who is now doing the very thing you want to do.

Been putting off learning to drive? Look at all the idiots on the road who somehow manage to get from here to there without wrecking the countryside.

What about marriage? True, most people botch it completely, but many millions actually do get it right and live in happiness.

Or maybe you're putting off starting your own business. Same thing -- you've met people barely clever enough to get in out of the rain, but they have businesses. And they haven't gone bankrupt -- at least not yet.

Chances are, the one thing you're lacking is not intelligence, nor ability, nor talent. Training is no real stumbling block, either, since people regularly go get the same training you're wanting.

No, you're probably only lacking permission. You're waiting around for somebody to validate you, then pick you up and prove to you that you can do it.

It ain't gonna happen that way. The good news is, it doesn't HAVE to happen that way.

All it takes is just deciding you'll do it. Then just begin.

Several years ago someone told me a great two-step formula for success in any field.

Step one is start; step two is don't stop.

So we come to...

#3

Make a beginning, no matter how awkward, then just keep moving forward in the direction you want to go.

Honestly, it's just about that simple.

While great intelligence can make things simpler, it can also make things much more difficult if you never learn to use it FOR yourself instead of against.

Please notice that beginnings are almost always awkward. That's okay. Give yourself permission to be a beginner when you begin. And if you feel a compulsion to be perfect, then just be a perfect beginner.

But do keep moving... forward.

Overcome Shyness And Gain Confidence

Winning the battle with shyness takes some work, but is definitely well worth the effort as the result is increasing confidence and self esteem. Wake up feeling good about yourself, able to face the world with confidence and security and the knowing that no feeling of shyness can come in your way of achieving your desires.



1. Every morning, as soon as you get up, get in front of a mirror and say out loud "I feel terrific! I feel terrific! I feel terrific!" Repeat this affirmation with enthusiasm at least ten times everyday until it's ingrained into your subconscious mind. If feel a little self conscious to begin with lock yourself in the bathroom. The results will amaze you.

2. Feel good about yourself. Look your best. Dress up more often. This gives you an extra feeling of confidence and self esteem. On its own just knowing that you look good will boost your confidence and reinforce with others that there are things about you that are worth getting to know.

3. Take a risk at least once a day. It's very invigorating and conquering fears by taking risks helps you grow in confidence and self esteem. Start with small risks and fears and as you overcome them move onto bigger things. There's nothing you cannot do. Be confident in knowing that change can only help you grow, and boost your self confidence.

4. When you are engaged in a one to one conversation, or with a larger group of people, let them know that you're shy. This prevents them from misreading you and they are far more likely to invite you into the conversation rather than leave you just listening and wishing you could contribute.

Many people, me included, find following a conversation in a noisy room difficult. If you are having difficulty say so and move so that you can hear. People respect honesty, and vulnerability and you will attract more honest people into your life as a result.

5. Rejection is a fact of life that everyone experiences. It is rarely you that is being rejected. If you are rejected, for example if you ask someone for a date, remember that everyone has different likes and dislikes. You may be attracted to one type of person and not others. The same applies to other people and you are probably just not their type. That does not devalue you in any way. Accept this and know that you will get over it. Never take it personally and keep in mind that if people reject you it is because of their own likes and dislikes and not because of who you are. You are equally entitled to reject others because of your likes and dislikes.

6. Engage in an activities that make you feel excited and good about yourself or start a hobby that gives you a feeling of relaxation. This could be anything from gardening to Tai Chi to Karate. Take some lessons, learn or master a musical instrument or take singing lessons. Do something that excites you and take a risk. Exploring things that make you feel excited is a great antidote for shyness.

Motivate Yourself Today

Why do you want to motivate yourself?


7 Ways To Motivate Yourself

 1. Explain your plans. Usually, by the time I tell my wife about the newsletter I'm going to write, I'm out of my slump and back at the keyboard. Find someone that listens well, and tell them what you want to do. If it is something that you really want, this will almost always get you motivated.

 2. Stimulate desire. Imagine the rewards of your effort clearly. Imagination motivates many to sign up for get-rich-quick plans. Good salesmen can have you living in your imagined dream home in minutes, and you'll feel motivated to do anything to make it real. Just learn to be your own salesman.

 3. Use pain. Neuro-Linguistic Programming teaches you to link pain with not acting. If you imagine a scene of your kids sitting in jail for drug use - that might motivate you to have that talk you've been avoiding. Linking pleasure and rewards to acting is only half of the formula. Remember to link pain to not acting.

 4. Develop a true interest. If you have no interest at all, it might mean you need to do something else, but if it's just a task you dislike, relate it clearly in your mind to the greater goal. I don't like to drive, but when I remember those mountains I'm going to, I get motivated to drive.

 5. Create energy. Coffee can help for a while, but one way or another, you need to have some energy to have motivate yourself. Exercise, sleep well, and watch out for sugary foods - the "sugar blues" will kill your motivation.

 6. Have the proper mental state. It's rare to be depressed and motivated. Resolve some of your negative feelings, and you'll have more motivation. Another way is to do your important work when you are in a better mood.

 7. Make any small step. Commit to raking up one bag of leaves, and soon you'll want to finish the yard. Any small step towards your goals creates momentum.

You have seven ways now, but you have to actually  use them, so how do you get motivated to do that? You have to figure that one out yourself. Humor, by the way, can be a good motivator. Laughing often breaks up the feeling of being overwhelmed. There's your eighth way to motivate yourself.

Music For Self Improvement

Would you like load up MP3 and have a better quality of life, and even self improvement? There are three ways you can use music to accomplish this.

Music For Motivation

Put on energetic music, and even doing housework seems less like work. Using music to motivate yourself or change your mood is an area where you can trust your experience and experimentation. When you find the music that energizes you, relaxes you, or makes you happy, keep it ready for when you need it.

Music For Intelligence

Music creates neural pathways in your brain that stimulate creativity. Studies show that music trains the brain for higher forms of thinking. In one study, three-year-olds were split into two groups. The first had no special training in, or exposure to music. The second group studied piano and sang daily in chorus.

Eight months later the musical three-year-olds were much better at solving puzzles. They also scored 80% higher in spatial intelligence than the other group. There's also anectdotal evidence that listening to music, especially from Mozart's era, can help you study and learn better.

Hopefully there will be more research. In the meantime there's no reason not to do your own experimentation. I've heard that Stephen King writes with loud rock music playing, so the benefits of music may be according to your own tastes or brain-organization.

Music For Brainwave 

Want to listen to some music, and get smarter, or have instant easy meditation? There are products now that "entrain" your brainwaves, in order to put you in a meditative state. Music is embedded with beats and pulses that entrain your brain waves to a specific frequency. Put in the right CD or MP3 for your activity, and you get better brain function. Science? Partly.

Brain wave frequencies vary with mental state. Daydreaming and light meditation take place in the "Alpha" range of frequencies, for example. So if you listen to music containing beats at a frequency of 10 Hz you will generate more brainwaves at a 10 Hz frequency and enter a relaxed Alpha mental state. Do these things really work?

Yes. I've found two products that put me in a peaceful state unlike any other music or meditative practice. Studies will prove the effects (some have already), and disprove the wilder claims. Given my results, however, I wouldn't wait for more research. Many things work long before the scientific proof arrives.

If you are skeptical, you can wait for more evidence of the benefits of brainwave entrainment. Meanwhile, why not try classical music when you study, just to see if it helps? Experiment with music - Mozart isn't dangerous.